


Unshakable

by NamelesslyNightlock



Series: Going Down Swinging [58]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Canon Divergence - Avengers (2012), Declarations Of Love, Established Relationship, Feels, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Hopeful Ending, Hugs, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied/Referenced Torture, Insecure Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Gets a Hug, Loki (Marvel) Lies, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loyalty, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Pain, Protective Loki (Marvel), Protective Tony Stark, Scared Loki (Marvel), Supportive Avengers, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Worried Loki (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24198199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelesslyNightlock/pseuds/NamelesslyNightlock
Summary: When Loki was cast down to Earth with an Infinity Stone in hand, he knew his plan would need to be clever. It would take a pretty lie to fool the smartest Avenger– especially when Anthony knew him so very well.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Series: Going Down Swinging [58]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1330490
Comments: 40
Kudos: 426





	Unshakable

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Give_Me_Coffee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Give_Me_Coffee/gifts).



> **Give_Me_Coffee** shared [this amazing prompt](https://quietlyapocalyptic.tumblr.com/post/185451280689/you-were-supposed-to-stop-me-the-villain-cried) on discord aaaages ago ~~(see: last June)~~ and I immediately wrote it, taking the bloody thing as a challenge because it needed a happy ending, goddamnit.  
>   
> (So, uh, you probably don't remember this because it was so far back in the queue but I hope you like it anyway! xD)  
>   
>  **Prompt** — _“Am I dead?”_

When Loki was cast down to Earth with an Infinity Stone in hand and still reeling from the latest session of torture, he believed his plan to be unshakable.

He knew, after all, that Anthony was a hero at heart. That he was a _good man_ , that he would do what was necessary to save his planet and his people, no matter the cost. He also knew that it would likely rip Anthony apart, so he had plotted his entrance carefully– not only killing several humans indiscriminately and taking the minds of many more but also tearing down an entire base belonging to an organisation he _knew_ to be Anthony’s ally, no matter how strained the relationship.

He ensured that everyone saw his face, that the whole _world_ would know he was behind the horror. He didn’t want Anthony to be shocked when he saw him– he wanted his love to have had time to come to terms with the fact that while Anthony was a good person, Loki was _not_.

He wanted Anthony to conclude that Loki was a monster who _needed_ to be stopped.

Loki was sure his plan of violence had worked the moment Anthony landed in front of him in Stuttgart, repulsors raised along with every weapon at Iron Man’s disposal. Loki thought that meant Anthony saw him as a threat—

But then, hearing the following nickname made Loki grit his teeth.

_Reindeer Games._

It was something Anthony had said affectionately the first time he had seen Loki in full armour, the last time they had seen each other– just before Loki had left for his brother’s coronation. Because he knew why Anthony was saying it, of course. It was a reminder of promises made, of how they had parted with soft kisses and whispers of devotion.

It meant that Anthony _knew_ there was something wrong. He knew Loki far too well.

It meant that Loki would only have to try harder.

The situation seemed to worsen further when Anthony fought against Thor to keep Loki at his side, stating aloud that he saw Loki as _his_ , fighting openly not only to keep a prisoner but because he wanted to make sure that Loki did not end up in the wrong hands. Anthony _knew_ that Thor was Loki’s brother, and yet he still fought, still claimed Loki as his own.

There was a time when that would have made Loki feel warm all over. But… it only made him feel _scared_ , and yes. He knew he had to _try harder_.

So when he was taken to the helicarrier that he had watched Anthony design a lifetime ago, Loki put on the greatest show of his _life_. He insulted every person who tried to talk to him with deadly smoothness that made them back away in fear, and he kept his smirk in place despite the way it was tearing him to pieces from the inside. He utilised his pain to lash out, to snap and snarl with honeyed words that cut deep, that brought tears even to Agent Romanoff’s eyes– manipulation or not, he knew that her tortured gasp had been real—

And he knew that Anthony would never, _could never_ condone what he was doing.

When the Hulk was released, Loki felt a spark of fear– but he knew that Anthony would be fine, because Anthony had his suit—

And because Anthony _had_ to be.

Choosing to place the Tesseract atop Stark Tower had been a gamble, and one that Loki still only half believed was a good one. After all, he knew he needed the humans, the _Avengers_ to work out where the portal was, and he needed it to be somewhere easily defended against. The portal would be narrow, a bottleneck, and the high population of the city along with its towering buildings would serve the double purpose of making Loki appear more violent as well as slowing the beasts down.

Loki all but handed the Avengers the fight on a silver platter– but he should have expected that Anthony would want to speak to him, that he wouldn’t just _fight_ without a conversation.

And Loki’d thought his performance on the helicarrier was a showcase of his acting skills, but _this_ was so much harder.

The moment Anthony landed he stepped out of his armour, and Loki knew that he was in trouble. Anthony would never have done that if he honestly thought Loki was going to hurt him– he knew how much stronger Loki was. And while it was true that the suit was damaged, that Anthony likely hoped to get his hands on a fresh one, even that tarnished armour would have been better than nothing.

Loki adjusted his grip on the sceptre as he walked into the penthouse, new enough that Loki hadn’t set foot in it before. Anthony was watching him cautiously, and Loki knew that it would be difficult– but that he still had a chance to make this work.

“Hello, Anthony,” Loki said, lowering his voice to a dark croon. “Are you here to appeal to my humanity?”

“No,” Anthony said, his voice laced with anger. “I’m here to ask you what the _fuck_ you think you’re doing, Loki! I thought at first that maybe something had happened, or that you weren’t real, some kind of illusion or– or _something_. But you’re not, this is _you_ , and I– _fuck_ , I don’t know what to think.”

“Don’t you?” Loki asked. “I killed so many people, Anthony, and I don’t regret it. I would do it again—”

“Stop it,” Anthony snapped. “Just don’t—”

“Don’t what? Remind you how much of a monster I am?”

“Why are you doing this?” Anthony asked sharply. “Why are you—”

“Why do you think?” Loki sneered, stalking a little closer. “Don’t you know me well enough to _guess?”_

“Maybe I don’t, after all, you left for a _year!”_ Anthony snarled, leaning up into Loki’s space, shoving at Loki’s chest. “You left to go to Thor’s coronation and then you _never_ _came back_. There was a mess down in New Mexico and JARVIS found out it was Thor, and I was scared that something had happened to you but you never gave me a word. For a whole _year,_ Loki, I was fucking terrified, scared that you weren’t ever going to come back. And the first news I get is when Coulson barges in here to tell me that you’ve destroyed a SHIELD base, killing people on your way out– and Jesus Christ.” Anthony rubbed his hands over his face. “ _And_ you killed Coulson. Loki… what am I supposed to do with that?”

“Whatever you want,” Loki said with a shrug, his lip curling into a smile that felt like something foul.

“So you left me for a year for _what_ , exactly—”

“What if I just did it because I _wanted_ to?” Loki hissed, his heart cracking further with every broken word. “What if I just grew tired of you, of your mortal life and your _human_ problems, and I just wanted to _leave?”_

“You didn’t,” Anthony said, shaking his head despite the agony Loki could see in his eyes. “I still don’t know why, but I know that wasn’t it—”

“How do you know?” Loki spat. “How do you know that every moment with you was not a façade?”

“Why are you trying to make me hate you?” Anthony asked, his eyes narrowing. “The Loki I know would manipulate the situation to his advantage, would use the way I feel about you to make me turn against my own fucking planet. You… if you really wanted me to hate you, you’d be _using_ me right now, not trying to push me away.”

Loki bared his teeth, scrambling for something to say. Any denial might as well be an admission, and any admission would only betray the truth. Anthony had outmanoeuvred him, and from the way that his eyes suddenly widened… Anthony _knew_ it.

“There’s something _wrong,”_ Anthony whispered, his expression slackening. “Loki… what happened to you?”

“What makes you want to know?” Loki snapped, throwing out one last attempt. “Why do you care?”

“You know why—”

“Well you _shouldn’t_. I’m not a good person, Anthony, I’m _not_. I’m a monster, you just said as much. You know how many people I have killed in just these past few days– you don’t know that the count over the past _year_ is so much higher. If you had any sense you would _run_ from me, and you would never look back.”

“You _are_ pushing me away,” Anthony realised, his voice pained. “Loki, talk to me. What’s going on?”

Loki snarled and turned on his heel, twisting the sceptre in his hands.

“Loki, sweetheart, please,” Anthony said– and Loki felt Anthony’s hand come to rest on his back, pressing against the leather in a way that should have been soothing. “Why won’t you let me help you—”

“Because the only way you can help me is if you _leave_ , and I know that you won’t unless you _see_ what I am,” Loki snapped, shrugging Anthony’s hand away as he turned back. “I know you won’t, because you’re too good a person, and for some reason no matter what I do, you will not stop loving me. Why won’t you?”

Anthony took a step closer, his eyes pained even as his lips curved into a broken smile. “ _Because_ I love you, Loki,” he said. “And I’m not going to leave you, not now. Not when I know you’re hurting.”

“You have to,” Loki snapped. “Because I’m not going to stop killing your people. If I stop, he’ll hunt me down, he’ll never let me go. There’s only one safe place left for me now, and the only way for me to get there, the only way to _stop this_ is for you to _win_.”

“We can find something else,” Anthony whispered. “I don’t think I can fight you.”

“Yes you can,” Loki said, softly at first– but then, he realised that there was only the one way he could make Anthony listen, only one thing he could do to _make_ _Anthony leave_.

He snarled again as he twisted his head, pulling away from Anthony’s touch even as he lashed out himself and closed his right hand around Anthony’s throat.

“JARVIS,” Loki said. “You must deploy Anthony’s suit. I’m trusting you to catch him.”

“Loki—” Anthony choked, scrabbling at Loki’s hand, his expression completely _betrayed—_

But Loki held firm.

“You need to go now, Anthony,” Loki ordered harshly. “And you need to _win_.”

And then, with all the strength he possessed, Loki hurled Anthony through the window and out into the open air below.

Loki held his breath, but was knocked down a moment later as a red and gold suit exploded from the wall and charged after Anthony– and despite the bruise Loki knew it would leave him with, he breathed a sigh of relief.

Anthony would be all right– and not only that, but he would _fight_. And with Anthony fighting on the side of the angels, Loki knew with all his heart that the angels would not lose.

—

Being smashed against the ground by the Hulk held nothing on the pain Loki felt when he saw Anthony fall from the sky.

He had only just managed to pry himself from the dent his body had made in Anthony’s previously smooth flooring when he heard JARVIS say that he had lost contact with Anthony, and Loki had dragged himself to the window with every ounce of strength he had left. His cracked bones screamed in agony, his hands sliced open on the shattered pieces of glass as he leaned out of the frame, staring up at the sky. And then Loki saw him– that familiar red and gold suit glinting in the bright sun as it plummeted to the ground.

Loki’s heart stopped in his chest, and he didn’t hesitate as he gathered his seiðr, no longer caring what would happen if Thanos found out, for that wouldn’t matter if—

_No—_

He tore his broken body across Yggdrasil’s branches until he was on the street below, staring up. Thor and Rogers were not far away, Thor obviously preparing to take flight as they all realised that Anthony was not slowing his own fall– and Loki pulled together what little strength he had left, knowing that he would be willing to give everything to save Anthony, no matter how much it hurt.

But then with a roar the Hulk appeared from around a corner, catching Iron Man around the waist and bringing him down to safety.

Loki’s legs carried him forward without a thought, tripping and stumbling toward his goal. He hardly even noticed the beast which had broken his spine mere minutes earlier, so focused as he was on the unmoving figure that lay on the ground.

Perhaps it was the shock that stayed the others, or perhaps there was something in his expression which gave them pause. But whatever it was, he reached Anthony unmolested, and he fell to his knees with a broken gasp.

“Anthony, wake up,” Loki ordered, shaking his shoulders gently– and when that did nothing, he tried just a little harder. “ _Anthony_ , please, I need you. Please, please wake up.”

Nothing.

Loki glanced down all over his metal-clad body, searching for an injury—

And then—

“No, no, no,” Loki gasped, noticing the darkness in Anthony’s chest, the absence of the light which should never be dimmed. _“No,_ Anthony, don’t do this to me, you have to be all right!”

He heard movement beside him, he heard the shift of a cloak– but still, Loki did not move, even when he heard a familiar voice.

“Brother—”

“Thor,” said one of the others– the captain, Steve Rogers… the one who had talked down to Loki in Stuttgart, speaking words they both knew to be true. “Leave them be.”

“But Loki must be—”

“He’s different, Thor, look at him. There’s something wrong.”

Loki paid them no notice as he ran his hands over Anthony’s suit, wanting to pull it off so he could reach the soft body inside, so he could see if there was anything that could be done to help save him because– well, because there _had_ to be.

“JARVIS, help me,” he said.

There was a moment where nothing happened, where Loki wondered if JARVIS saw him now as only the enemy, just as Loki had intended—

But then he remembered that the arc reactor powered far more than just Anthony’s heart. It was also the power source for the suit, and without it, there was nothing JARVIS could do to help.

So, with the absence of assistance, Loki began tearing at the metal, using his seiðr to make sure it didn’t wound Anthony any further than he already had been. And with each removed piece, Loki realised that there _were_ no other injures– all that was wrong was the arc reactor, and… that was something Loki wasn’t sure he knew how to fix.

His horror growing, Loki remembered trying to use his seiðr on the arc reactor before, back when the core had been slowly draining Anthony of his life– but it had not worked, the poison too engrained for Loki’s seiðr to be able to make a difference. It was a worrying precedent, but… the situation was not the same, and Loki had to believe that the outcome would be different as well.

Because if it wasn’t… then…

Pushing the thought away, Loki placed his hand over Anthony’s darkened chest, and he pushed as much of seiðr into it as he could manage. He was injured, he was _exhausted_ – but he was also absolutely terrified, and there was nothing that could withstand the determined desperation that coursed through his veins.

Well… nothing, perhaps, save Anthony’s genius.

When they had discovered that Anthony’s new arc reactor made him immune to magical manipulation, Loki had been thrilled. But with the reactor lying cold and dark no matter how much energy Loki pushed into it, that protection had now sentenced Anthony to death.

“No,” Loki shouted– angry, _desperate_. “No, this isn’t happening. You’re okay, you’re going to be just fine. You have to be. Anthony, you’re going to– wake _– up!”_

All the seiðr in the Nine could not have done a thing, because the core of Anthony’s reactor could not be influenced by it– and Anthony was going to die.

“You were supposed to stop me,” Loki cried, cradling Anthony’s unresponsive body in his arms. “You were supposed to save the day, you had everything you needed to bring me down! So why– am _I_ – still _here?”_ Loki’s breath hitched, choking on the words. “How did it go so wrong?” The tears in his eyes began to fall as his voice cracked entirely, barely more than a broken whimper as he made his final plea. “Please, Anthony, _please_. I… I need you. I _love_ you, and I don’t want to be _alone_.”

But Anthony remained still, and the sound that tore from Loki’s throat was tortured, so broken and tormented that it drowned out the sound of Thor’s approach.

“Loki.”

Loki’s gaze snapped up to find Thor staring at him with a sad expression, Mjölnir dropped to the ground behind him. Further back, Rogers was still holding his weapons, but his grip had relaxed some. Even the Hulk was quiet, watching with furrowed brows– but Loki did not waste the time on them, turning back to Thor.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” he whispered. “I didn’t…”

Thor, to his credit, tried his best not to let his confusion show as he crouched down, his eyes pained. “Loki,” he said again. “What _did_ happen? Why did you do it?”

“Not now,” Loki said. “Please, I– I have to– there has to be _something_.”

Thor stared at him for a moment before turning back to look at Anthony, his eyes softening.

“Perhaps there’s something I can do,” he said. He reached out behind him with one hand—

And when Mjölnir smacked into Thor’s palm, Loki pulled Anthony closer to his chest, scared.

“I won’t hurt him, I want to help,” Thor promised. “When I fought Stark in the forest, something happened. My lightning powered his suit. Brother, it is worth a try.”

Loki felt hesitant, because he had been on the receiving end of Thor’s hammer several times now, and none of them had been pleasant. But… there was nothing Loki could do to help, and if Thor believed he could, then who was Loki to try and stop him?

What did he have to lose?

The tattered remains of his heart in his throat, Loki gently released his hold on Anthony, letting his body slump back to the floor.

Then, not wasting a moment, Thor placed Mjölnir over Anthony’s chest and summoned a bolt of lightning—

And Anthony _gasped_ , sitting upright almost immediately, the reactor glowing more brightly than ever– and Loki thought that blue could have lit up the whole world.

“Jesus _fuck_ ,” Anthony groaned, holding his head in his hands. “Am I dead?”

“No,” Loki said, his voice sounding wet and his smile suddenly far too wide. “No, you’re certainly not.”

Anthony turned to him then, his beautifully _alive_ brown eyes blinking. “Lokes?” he asked, his voice weak. “You’re okay? You’re not– hey, I did what you said, I _won_ , and I blew up the bastards on the other side of the portal. That means you’re okay, right? _We’re_ okay?”

Loki threw himself into Anthony’s arms, holding him tightly and burying his sobs into Anthony’s shoulder. Anthony’s arms went around him, and Loki was more pleased than he could say to feel the strength in them, to _know_ that Anthony had not overly suffered from the horrific ordeal.

Anthony was hushing him, and Loki couldn’t help but feel like they were doing things a little backwards from how they should be– but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He curled in as close as he could, feeling Anthony’s heartbeat on his cheek, his hand on Anthony’s chest following the rise and fall of every breath.

It seemed that Anthony was doing something similar, stroking his hands up and down Loki’s sides, as if reassuring himself that Loki was still _there_. 

“I think you’ve got a lot of explaining to do,” Rogers said, and when Loki turned to look he found the captain staring at Anthony with a hard expression Loki wasn’t sure he liked– but Anthony merely grinned in the face of it.

“I think you both do,” Thor added.

“ _But,_ for now, there are more important matters to take care of,” Anthony said– and when he had everyone’s attention, his grin turned wicked. “I’m starving. Have any of you had shawarma? I’ve heard there’s a pretty decent shawarma joint around here that I’ve been meaning to try.”

Rogers groaned in frustration, but his expression merely appeared fond, now.

Loki leaned his forehead back against Anthony’s shoulder, his laugh shaking through his whole body, half giddy with relief. Anthony’s hand came up to stroke his hair, both calming him down and only making him all the more ridiculously _happy_. Anthony was here, Anthony was _alive_ , and despite everything… Anthony still loved him.

As Loki began to relax, as he heard the others begin to move around them, talking about the need to make sure Romanoff and Barton were all right and that the Tesseract and Loki’s sceptre were put into the right hands, Loki just held Anthony closer.

Oh, Loki knew that there were still explanations to be given, the webs of lies to be untangled, the horror and violence to be accounted for– and of course, Loki still needed to be served his punishment. But, with Anthony back in his arms, Loki could almost believe that everything was going to be just fine.

Because while his plan may not have been as he thought, something else had remained unshakable instead– and Loki knew that he and Anthony would continue to stand together through whatever came next.


End file.
